I wish things were different. I wish things had been said different, or merely I wish things had been said. I like to imagine how things could be different. There is a book that I heard about a book called The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick. This book takes on the view that America lost the war, and is now under joint control of the Japanese and the Nazi’s. Imagine if this was true, things would be extremely different. Moving back into my glorious life and I imagine how different it would be if I had gone straight into University. There would be no AXA job, no Mexico and I could already have changed a fair bit. What if I had made friends with different people on my first day of school? Such a simple thing as a smile on that day may have pathed my way into the future.
But there is no use in living in the past. There is in no way that I can change what I did then, but I can change what I do now and in the future. This year has definitely cleaned my perception on life. I am looking forward to going to Mexico so that it will give me an even larger perception of not only my life, but the world. I have never been in a situation to observe true poverty and so here is my chance to help out in anyway I can. Following that I am cruising up to New York. I don’t quite think that the atmosphere is going to be the same in these two cities, but I will enjoy them both intensely.
Something I would really like to pay attention to is playing my guitar, it’s just that when I pick up my beloved and try and write something I just freeze up. Then I get annoyed and just leave it for a while. Randomly I get random lines that creep up into my mind, something like “Same breath, but million miles apart. Same light, when all the rest is dark”. I try to put something behind all my songs, which of course is what every single other artist is doing, but with regard to this line – I will explain. A while back I began thinking that somewhere in the future I most probably will get married, well… that’s what I would like to happen. This means that somewhere around this world there is my future wife just wandering around living out her life (emphasis on her). At present she probably doesn’t have a clue who I am, or the future that we might have together. It might be one of my closest friends. It might be someone in the office right now – at this exact moment she might be thinking ‘Who’s that guy?’. So that line comes from the fact that we are so close, yet not know each other. That we are living and breathing at the same time but we are a ‘million miles apart’. Is that romantic? If it is and you are thinking ‘Hmm… he sounds HOT’ (which, in my experience, is the usually reaction to any interaction with yours truly) then get in touch… who knows those million miles could be closer than you think.
I went to Manchester over the weekend to check out the accommodation at the University. I really felt like I had found a place for me there, on the previous visit it felt like there was no connection at all, but this time was different. I could see myself walking down the road, sitting in the lectures and I can even just about see me playing with my guitar too a crowd – but then that would depend on how much effort I put into paragraph 3. I also felt like I was ‘meant to be’ in a certain hall, but things can easily change – I hope it doesn’t – but that’s the nature of things in peoples lives. It’s also weird that the friends that I meet at University are most likely to be my life long friends. If that’s the case what happens to my friends now? I know that they will always be there as extremely close friends, but I always imagined that it would be then that I live with etc. Oh well, perhaps I will meet twins of my friends here at home. Here’s hoping! It is also a high chance that you will meet your future partner at University. Looks like, as well as my lectures, I’m going to have a lot of work to do.
Well, that’s about all I can think about writing down at the moment, so I will return to pretending to do work. You see, I’m already getting some practice for my behaviour in the lecture halls. Actually, No. I intend to work hard at University I want to come out the other side with a purpose, not just a seemingly permanent headache and a huge debt. Psychology… be prepared for Phil Clarke.
“Because with you the summer seemed brighter,
And with you the hard seemed lighter.”
No? Nothing? Well, I’ll try to charm someone else.
[clarke]
12/03/07
But there is no use in living in the past. There is in no way that I can change what I did then, but I can change what I do now and in the future. This year has definitely cleaned my perception on life. I am looking forward to going to Mexico so that it will give me an even larger perception of not only my life, but the world. I have never been in a situation to observe true poverty and so here is my chance to help out in anyway I can. Following that I am cruising up to New York. I don’t quite think that the atmosphere is going to be the same in these two cities, but I will enjoy them both intensely.
Something I would really like to pay attention to is playing my guitar, it’s just that when I pick up my beloved and try and write something I just freeze up. Then I get annoyed and just leave it for a while. Randomly I get random lines that creep up into my mind, something like “Same breath, but million miles apart. Same light, when all the rest is dark”. I try to put something behind all my songs, which of course is what every single other artist is doing, but with regard to this line – I will explain. A while back I began thinking that somewhere in the future I most probably will get married, well… that’s what I would like to happen. This means that somewhere around this world there is my future wife just wandering around living out her life (emphasis on her). At present she probably doesn’t have a clue who I am, or the future that we might have together. It might be one of my closest friends. It might be someone in the office right now – at this exact moment she might be thinking ‘Who’s that guy?’. So that line comes from the fact that we are so close, yet not know each other. That we are living and breathing at the same time but we are a ‘million miles apart’. Is that romantic? If it is and you are thinking ‘Hmm… he sounds HOT’ (which, in my experience, is the usually reaction to any interaction with yours truly) then get in touch… who knows those million miles could be closer than you think.
I went to Manchester over the weekend to check out the accommodation at the University. I really felt like I had found a place for me there, on the previous visit it felt like there was no connection at all, but this time was different. I could see myself walking down the road, sitting in the lectures and I can even just about see me playing with my guitar too a crowd – but then that would depend on how much effort I put into paragraph 3. I also felt like I was ‘meant to be’ in a certain hall, but things can easily change – I hope it doesn’t – but that’s the nature of things in peoples lives. It’s also weird that the friends that I meet at University are most likely to be my life long friends. If that’s the case what happens to my friends now? I know that they will always be there as extremely close friends, but I always imagined that it would be then that I live with etc. Oh well, perhaps I will meet twins of my friends here at home. Here’s hoping! It is also a high chance that you will meet your future partner at University. Looks like, as well as my lectures, I’m going to have a lot of work to do.
Well, that’s about all I can think about writing down at the moment, so I will return to pretending to do work. You see, I’m already getting some practice for my behaviour in the lecture halls. Actually, No. I intend to work hard at University I want to come out the other side with a purpose, not just a seemingly permanent headache and a huge debt. Psychology… be prepared for Phil Clarke.
“Because with you the summer seemed brighter,
And with you the hard seemed lighter.”
No? Nothing? Well, I’ll try to charm someone else.
[clarke]
12/03/07
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